Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
