I'm sorry my penis didn't work
In America we eat man semen.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
