just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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