is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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