Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I forget how to act sober
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
