she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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