if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
