I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
