Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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