We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
