maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
