how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
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I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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