im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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