god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
