people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
