Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
