Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
