Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I want is dick and wine.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
