I think scott just propositioned me for sex
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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