yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
