Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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