so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
