i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
