He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
