You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
