You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She said her name was "party"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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