I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
