I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Someone came in the potted fern
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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