I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
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why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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