If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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