I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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