I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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