Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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