I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
