i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The adults are the big ones right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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