you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
me + whiskey = a bad person
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
