anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
