Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
