I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
