but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They have beer where we have blood.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
