I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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