her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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