Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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