my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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