My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
