I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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