yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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