It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
