I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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