She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
