i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
