i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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