whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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