honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
