you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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