I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
