ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
