it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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