He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
