a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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