wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
