I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize