i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
