How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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