This dress was meant to end up on your floor
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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