my phone needs a breathalizer
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
