I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
