just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Houston, we have a squirter
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
