im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fuck me I smell like cheese
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
