End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
