found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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