i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
